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Keeping Chickens Newsletter

Page 05

November 2011 Vol. 2

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November 2011
Vol. 2

Chicken Rearing 101
Your Complete Guide to How Not to Raise Chickens
By Nola Kelsey

Capon: A castrated male used for meat. [How much could that yield?]
Pullet: A female chicken under one year old.
Hen: A female chicken over one year of age
Rooster: A male chicken over one year of age.

Raising Chickens for the first time can be intimidating. When I first called the Feed Shop, I was trying to sound like a pro. I asked, "Do you sell pullets?" "Yes", the man replied. "Are they all females?" It's been an uphill battle ever since.

Pullet parenthood is as much of an adventure as child rearing, only with more feces per pound of body weight. However, I've been reading quite a bit on poultry matters. [Yes, my coolness just turned over in its grave.] So if I am correct and I am quite certain I am not, here is how chicken rearin' goes.

Go to your local feed store and purchase $10 worth of chicks and $50 worth of food and supplies. Don't forget the water dispensers. Buying the metal ones, never plastic is always advised. Must be country humor. I have yet to see a metal one.

Next, place the chicks somewhere sheltered, like a bedroom closet. Toss in some highly flammable straw or wood shavings and promptly dangle a glowing heat lamp just above them.

Note to self: Update homeowner's policy.

For the next several weeks feed them 3 lbs of food per day and remove 4 lbs of sh*t per day from the closet. Despite all logic the birds get bigger. As the adult feathers grow in be sure to clip one of their wings. That is one per bird, not just one wing total. If clipping is done late chicks will nest in your toilet. This is a bad thing.

Clipping can be accomplished by tossing your scissors and your body into the heaping mound of chicks, feces and straw. Grab a wiggling screeching bird from the bile pile.


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Keeping Chickens Newsletter - Published November 2011 by www.Self-Sufficient-Life.com